This weekend I had a chronic illness flare. Most people with mast cell disease call them attacks. And this attack once again introduced worry…

Because of my mast cell disease, I can react to normal everyday stimuli as if I were highly allergic. In fact, some people with mast cell disease describe it as living every day in constant low level of anaphylaxis. One of the more depressing reports I read recently suggested patients like me are “extremely ill” and live close to death’s doorstep. How encouraging. Not.

But even though that statement was from a new story where truth can often be sensationalized, this explanation of mast cell disease holds a kernel of truth. I can get extremely sick, and sometimes I am even worried that things could go really bad when I’m having an attack. For me, attacks can include trouble breathing, chest pain, flushing, headache, internal pain, full body pain and even (warning: TMI) GI distress. Most times it happens in a slow burn…unrelenting symptoms that leave me feeling sick, but able to function. Sometimes though, like this weekend, it happens quickly…extreme symptoms that make me feel like I’m going to explode from the inside out and leave me completely unable to function.

This weekend it was fumes from gym floor lacquer mixed with off-gassing from new carpet. Normal people might be annoyed with these smells. But me…exploding headache, nausea and a feeling like someone drained all the blood from my body (that’s called anaphylaxis – for which I took emergency meds). While I was able to make it home, load up on Benedryl and sleep, it left me unable to function for quite some time.

But what episodes like this also leave behind is something I don’t want to be a party to…WORRY!

People with chronic illness can easily worry. Worry, when they’re feeling good, whether or not they will get worse. Worry, when they’re feeling bad, whether or not they’ll ever feel good again. Worry they will not be able to participate in their family. Worry they will loose their job or their source of income. Worry their friends will not understand. Worry their family won’t either. Worry they will die.

Interesting thing is that worry does no earthly good! As Corrie ten Boom says, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Worry (which is a form of fear) doesn’t do me any good. It doesn’t make me feel well. It cannot save relationships with my friends or family. It cannot supply for my financial needs. Worry can only cause all these things to become more difficult.

So worry needs to be kicked to the curb.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend who also has mast cell disease. She mentioned that she felt better after talking to me…that I had a calming presence. My response: that’s Jesus in me. Left to my own devices, I would be a complete worry wart. Because of God, I can take all my fear and worry about my illness, or anything else in my life, and give it to God. The Bible says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). That’s the cure for worry: let God handle it. I don’t need to carry around a weight of worry. God is big enough to handle any of my problems.

And yes, all those things I could worry about regarding my chronic illness might happen. I could loose my friends. I could loose my income. I could feel worse. I might never feel better. But I’m not worried. God’s got it. And He will give me the strength to handle each any every one of my problems as they come. For today, I choose to save my strength. I choose trust.