Category Archives: Becoming Brave

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3 Reasons I Embrace My Struggle with Chronic Illness

A few of you who have chronic illness are shrieking inside at this moment…”how could you ever suggest I embrace my struggle?” Then you might add, “You have no idea what my life is like…what I’m going through.” And on that point, you would be right. I don’t fully understand your reality.

But here’s what I do understand about chronic illness. I know the kind of pain that makes you feel like you absolutely do not or cannot think of moving. I know what it’s like to have parts of your body move without your control. I understand what it’s like to watch your child struggle for breath or writhe in pain. I know what it’s like to get extremely ill in a matter of minutes in a highly unpredictable way. I know what it’s like to have doctors say it’s all in your head. I understand what it feels like to be afraid of what each day or moment could bring. And I know what it’s like to have a loved one with mental illness in the family. I don’t know your particular struggle. But I know that even though the details are different, our journeys likely look much the same – we have some form of struggle.

Daily I read Facebook posts from people who have questions about their illness, who are sick and tired of being sick and tired and who are sometimes doing everything in their power to escape the hold illness has on them. Of course, for anyone who has an illness that is truly curable, these thoughts are not for you. The thoughts that follow are for those of us whose illness has no cure and will not go away. I write this for those who are dying to escape their illness and who push against it so hard that they’re declining instead of improving.

Here are three reasons why I choose to embrace my struggle with chronic illness:

  1. I can spend my time feeling sorry for myself OR I can spend my time feeling joyful for the good in my life. It’s really easy to feel sorry for yourself. I have moments when I feel alone and incredibly sad about this darn illness. Sometimes, it’s even the illness speaking, as chemistry wages war inside my body. When those moments come, I breathe deeply and remember that things do not always look so bleak. (If you are someone who has not just moments of sadness, but days and weeks without end…please, please go see a doctor or therapist. There is a better day.) But aside from those moment of distress, daily I choose to look up and find the good in my circumstances or relationships. And even when money has been tight or when I’m in an illness flare, I can be thankful. Even when I can’t make sense of my medical bills or I have to stay home from a special event at work because I’m not okay, I can find happiness. It is possible to CHOOSE an attitude of joy…and the feelings will follow.
  2. I can spend my life wishing for what I don’t have OR I can spend my life living out of the abundance I do have. Every time I watch my family leave for an evening of entertainment without me because I am sick that night, I have a choice to make. I can wish my life were different, or I can spent my time enjoying what I do have. Sure, it’s difficult to miss out on things. That’s real. But when my family leaves and I am alone, would it help my illness more to spend the night crying or to spend it laughing at a bad movie? I choose laughter. I choose to appreciate what I do have. A great puzzle on my phone. Or a Facebook session. What do you do when you’re confined to your house or bed? You can make a choice that promotes personal health and live a life appreciating abundance.
  3. I can spend my energy frantically seeking a way out OR I can spend my energy peacefully creating a way through. This one is the clincher. And to be clear, I am absolutely in favor of personal health research, self-advocating for the best care, and periods of trial and error with appropriate treatments. But each of us has a choice when we face illness. We can choose to act as if life is squishing us like a bug…and we need to struggle with all our might against a force much larger than us. Or we can choose to act as if life is gently holding us…and we must only find the rhythm with which we need to move. One picture leaves you exhausted, anxious and afraid. The other leaves you searching, moving and resting. I choose the latter. I choose to work hard to find the best way forward AND rest hard in the knowledge that choosing peace and acceptance of my personal limits actually offers me freedom. It makes me strong!

That’s why I embrace my struggle with chronic illness. Because if I don’t, it will always get the better of me. But if I do…I am the one in charge. I am the one who is strong.

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When Tired Runs Deep in Chronic Illness

When you have a chronic illness, chances are you get tired. Very tired. I know I have days when I’m lying on the bed, and it still feels like I could collapse. Does that make sense? Not unless you’ve had this feeling. Chronic illness can be just plain exhausting.

God says, “For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul, I will replenish” (Jeremiah 31:25). That’s a truth I cling to on days when it feels like the weariness just won’t end. Because when the tiredness goes beyond affecting my body to affecting my very spirit, I know I need help. And even though it’s not always in my own timing, God does replenish my soul!

Wherever you’re at in your personal journey with faith, know that God loves you and cares about the weight you carry. So next time you’re tired, or your soul feels weary, maybe lift up a prayer. God does care. He wants to love on you no matter what you’ve done, no matter what your background and no matter how much you’ve rejected Him in the past. Maybe it’s time to turn your heart toward God and just see what He can do to replenish your soul.

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Chronic Illness and Everyday Bravery

Today, I performed an everyday act of bravery. I got a haircut.

I hate getting my hair cut. Because when you have a chronic illness, everything changes. With my particular illness, fragrances and chemicals can set off a reaction that will cause me to feel ill for hours or even days. So, it’s a commitment to walk into a salon and sit next to perfumes, hair products and chemicals. Alas, everyone needs a haircut now and then.

Probably, I could find a stylist who has a home shop, who would use special shampoos and who would work hard to ensure her space is aired out properly. Maybe, someday I will need to go to those lengths. But today, I can still walk into a salon and walk out without calling the emergency response team. I will pay for my decision at least through this next day. However, I have to say…it’s super cute. And better yet, I got to go with my teenage daughter and banter with the stylists about Halloween costumes and how our family took home the best Disney costume award on our last cruise.

But I digress. Today if you have chronic illness, I’m pretty sure you performed several acts of everyday bravery too. Take time to notice what you did. Notice that you achieved something, no matter how small. And when people say “it’s all in your head” or “aren’t you better yet,” recall that you’re doing something brave everyday…just by living with chronic illness. You are amazing.

So be strong and courageous!

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Why My Child with Chronic Illness is My Hero

The day before her 11th birthday, my daughter was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Since a child, she has dealt with a chronic condition, and often experiences debilitating symptoms. Certainly her life has been good, but her childhood has looked different than most kids’…because everything changes when you’re sick.

Chronic illness isn’t for wimps! That’s established. But when everything changes in your life due to a diagnosis, you can either choose to be brave or you can choose to let symptoms control you and your life. How you live with chronic illness is a choice.

That’s why my daughter is my hero! Here’s why:

  • She lives courageously! Whether it’s summoning up the strength to make it to school, to face another medical appointment or to use her creative gifts, she does it with courage. She knows her limits, yet she pushes her boundaries to have the life she wants. She doesn’t quit on life when it gets difficult or even overwhelming. Every good day is used to its full (to say, go to school or even visit Disney World), and every bad day is an opportunity to regain her strength (and perhaps to check in on the latest adds to Netflix).
  • She acts bravely! Though she is sick, her actions toward others rarely reflect a sense of self. She reaches out to friends in need, serves her community and stretches herself in order to provide for others. Right now my daughter is coming alongside a pregnant friend, volunteering every weekend at church and training for a half-marathon to raise money for Hope Water Project to provide clean water for the Pokot tribe of Kenya. And none of these things were my idea! She is putting aside (or working through) her own chronic pain and illness to make a difference in others’ lives!
  • She embodies strength! Sometimes, for someone with chronic illness, strength is conquering your fears. But sometimes strength is just getting out of bed. I have seen my daughter display strength in both situations! If you know what it’s like to live with chronic illness, then you know what it’s like to be afraid. Afraid of not being able to function. Afraid others won’t understand your limitations. Afraid a good day will quickly turn to bad. I’ve seen my daughter manage her fear and embody strength simply by dealing with each moment as it comes.

That’s why my chronically ill daughter is my hero…because she is uncommonly brave!

 

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Three honest reasons you can face chronic illness with bravery

No one sets out to be sick (unless you’re a hypochondriac or have some other similar psychological impairment). We just don’t welcome illness like we do a best friend or a long lost loved one.

Yet, chronic illness snuggles up next to those it chooses with little regard for their thoughts on the matter. And it can be daunting to face. No matter where you are on your journey with chronic illness, having less control over your body and thus less control over your life can be frightening. Fear is an insidious thing. It gets in our heads and hearts and works hard to convince us that we ought to lay down and just stop…stop trying, stop living and even stop loving. Fear can paralyze you.

That’s where uncommon bravery comes in. Being chronically ill isn’t for sissies! It often requires more strength and more courage than the average man, woman or child musters up on a daily basis. It forces us to become above average…to be brave.

So, what are the three honest reasons you can face chronic illness with bravery? Easy.

  1. You survived life thus far. A diagnosis doesn’t change that.
  2. Your strength (though it may waver) can only get stronger as you learn how to navigate your unique illness.
  3. You still have a contribution to make to the world. Sick or well, you matter! And what you bring to the world is still very much in need. Being sick doesn’t need to define who you are, so don’t let it.

Become brave…the easy way or the hard way! Because one way or another, you must face your illness. I choose courage. I choose the easy way.

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Brave

Christopher Reeve said, “A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” That’s what this blog is all about. And how fitting this quote is from the actor we all know as Superman…for he himself fought chronic illness and pain. This blog is for those of us who have any type of rare, undiagnosed or chronic illness, or for caretakers of those with chronic symptoms. And hopefully, it’s a place where you are regularly reminded you are braver than you realize and stronger than you know. You are someone’s hero.