The truth is most people don’t know how bad I can feel or how much I can hurt because of my chronic illness. Even my family is somewhat unaware of these vital facts…because people who live with chronic illness become very good at ignoring their pain and illness. Some people do it because they don’t want to feel different. Some don’t want the attention. Some mask their symptoms out of guilt. Some push them away because they have been ridiculed or told they are crazy. Some even hide them because their loved ones do not believe they are really sick.
Turns out that living your life without focusing on your symptoms is actually psychologically good for you. Have you ever heard of the old adage that “what you focus on grows?” Well, it’s true of our chronic illness and pain as well. Now, I am NOT saying your illness is all in your head. But have you ever had a stomachache you were sure became worse because you were so worried it was something awful? That’s the connection between our mind and our body. It’s a strong little guy. Despite our best efforts, we can’t break the connection if we try. Thus, what we focus on does grow. Focus on pain, and it’ll likely get worse. Focus on joy, and it’ll likely increase.
Somedays it’s all I can do to just focus on the basics. On a really bad day, I focus on relaxing and enjoying the latest on television or Pinterest. Because I know that if I try to do more, I will simply prolong the time in bed. So, instead of dwelling on how bad I feel, I distract myself with a story or a mind game. And if I can do nothing more than watch television to get my mind off my illness, that’s what I do. On a better day, I avoid talking about my symptoms. Why? Because it doesn’t really help anyone. No one around me can do anything to ease my pain or illness. (Unless they’re helping distract me from my illness.) So, while I will ask for the help I need, I leave talking about my illness for about two minutes in the evening to my hubby. That’s my personal allotment of “sick talk,” unless I’m having an emergency.
The fact is: masquerading as a well person day after day is exhausting! But it’s kind of a great idea.
